Incoherent musings on 《我的少女時代》

老套的故事帶我進入回不去的年代
熟悉的人物讓我回憶曾出現的他們
已流逝的歲月使我想起17歲的我們

謝謝曾出現過的你們、陪我走過一段路的知己、我留不住的幸運。祝你安好。

I was not planning to watch 《我的少女時代》, well, at least not in a cinema. Having watched the trailer, the theme song MV and interviews with the cast and crew, I was not the least impressed. However, rave reviews from unexpected sources prompted me to give the movie a chance, which I did, and the experience surprised me.

As someone who ingest quite a fair amount of Chinese entertainment news, I walked into the cinema with full knowledge of the movie plot, including spoilers. I did not have much expectation from the movie and I certainly wasn’t expecting myself to be so moved by the movie that I was tearing for a good 30 minutes during the movie.

Set in the 1990s, the movie tells the story of two teenagers and their first love, which really is not the point of the movie. As I was watching the movie, who ended up with who was less important compared to who became what in the process.

In this movie that is more about the coming of age, it invites reflection about identity, about the kind of person we wanted to be when we were teenagers, and if we did become that person in the end? Or have we compromised and submitted to the harsh realities of this world? It extends an invitation for us to choose again, to choose wisely while we still can. And that brought tears to my face as I recalled what I lost with each compromise and the hardships endured each time I held on. Nobody told us in school that no matter what choices we make in life, hurt will always follow.

In this movie where friendships is a key theme, I could not help but think about friends who have come and gone, friends very much like the supporting cast in the movie. In our secondary and JC years, we would remember the heartthrobs and the nerds, representatives from the two polar extremes of our social circle, but what about the in-between? Those who sat with me as we copied Maths homework, who skipped PE with me to hang out, who dragged me to the library and reading rooms to make sure I did pass my exams… Those who were friends during these precious growing up years.

The movie reminds me of an era past, a phase in my life that I miss and can longer return to. It reminds me of who I was, who I wanted to be and who I hope to become, serving as a lighthouse to help us check our bearings. It reminds us to take another look around us, to seek out friends who have been standing beside us all this while, friends whom we might not have been very appreciative of. We cannot undo the past and bring back friends whom we have lost touch with, but we can do something to keep our friends who are still hanging around.

Above all, I am thankful for all the 徐太宇 who were once here and whom I was too distracted to appreciate or cherish. Thank you for being part of my life and for making me a better person. 因為曾經失去所以學會了珍惜。

謝謝你出現在我的青春裡
我的青春很精彩、不孤單
只因有你(們)。

In so many ways, this movie is timely. One month after returning to full-time work, the movie affirms my decision to step away from a pretty smooth sailing career and go down a path less glamorous if not less travelled. It makes me glad that I did take that year off to focus on the more important things in life than work. It makes me remember anew that giving time people is always infinitely more important than anything else. Period.

This new journey that I am on is not without challenges or doubts, and there are days where I do get weary. However, I am now clearer about who I am, what I want to do and where I want to be. And I am glad too, that over the years, I have consistently chosen to be true to myself and to have met advocates and mentors who have allowed and supported me to do that.

As Thanksgiving (Nov 26) approaches, I am glad (and thankful!) that there is truly much to be thankful for, including this movie that made me bawled my eyeballs out.

《小幸運》

我听见雨滴 落在青青草地
我听见远方 下课钟声响起
可是我没有听见你的声音 认真呼唤我姓名

爱上你的时候 还不懂感情
离别了 才觉得刻骨铭心
为什么没有发现 遇见了你 是生命最好的事情

也许当时
忙着微笑和哭泣 忙着追逐天空中的流星
人理所当然的忘记
是谁风里 雨里 一直默默守护在原地

原来你是 我最想留住的幸运
原来我们 和爱情曾经靠得那么近
那为我对抗世界的决定 那陪我淋的雨
一幕幕都是你 一尘不染的真心

与你相遇 好幸运
可我也失去 为你泪流满面的权利
但愿在我看不到的天际 你张开了双翼
遇见你的注定 她会有多幸运

青春是段跌跌撞撞的旅行
拥有着后知后觉的美丽
来不及感谢 是你给我勇气 让我能做回我自己

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