I have been meaning to write on being single in Singapore for some time now, but never quite gotten round to it. So, I am really glad to be starting on this post, and at the same time creating a hashtag #SingleInSG for all posts related to this topic.
But first, let’s start with the backstory.
I have been single for a long while and this has become a status I wear with neither pride nor shame. Because really, ‘single’ is one of the numerous answers to the fundamental question of ‘Who am I’. It does not define who I am and I do not feel compelled in anyway to hide or pretend that this is not a fact of my life.
Single as a marital status at my age (not disclosing here) can be interpreted as ‘unwanted’, ‘rejected’, ‘leftover’ or ‘forgotten, or all the above. Such associations do make one feel bad about oneself, doesn’t it? What is often ignored is that single as a marital status can also be interpreted as ‘freedom’, ‘time’ and ‘resources’, to give to the people I care about, like family and friends, and/or to the causes I am concerned with, like spiritual formation and equity in education.
To me, single is one form of empowerment, allowing me to live and love in ways that married couples are not able to. Just like there are aspects of life unique to being one half of a married couple, which singles are unable to partake. Once we remove the value judgement of whether it is better to be single or married, we can see clearly that these 2 status take us down different paths, but it is not the case that one has to be better than the other. Just ask any single or married person, most would prefer to be on the other side of the fence.
That said, one thing I appreciate being single is the freedom to explore and seek out new adventures.This primarily mean checking out cafes with girlfriends and spending time catching up on the latest in each other’s life. However, it also means taking classes to learn something new, like ballroom dancing, as well as watching plays and concerts to enrich myself while supporting the local arts scene.
I also cherish my ability as a single to make choices based on my preferences. Just ask any married person or parent with young children, and you would know that this is rarely the case for many of them. (But that does not mean they are not happy doing that. Their joy simply lies elsewhere.)
At the end of the day, the message I want to really drive home is this: being single is no reason to stop enjoying life or to stop
pampering caring for yourself.
So, I am going to be reviewing the places and events I visit whenever I can to share ideas with whoever is interested, where they can hang out and what they can possibly do when they are looking for some social or simply a change of scene.